Legend of the Dumb Ho Guns
by Dyscrasia
Summary: This is a spoof, pure and simple. I have been inspired to mock everything I hold sacred, and Trigun has come to be on my hit list. Reviews are welcome. Flames are used to keep us warm.


This is a spoof of Trigun, mixed with every other popular movie that I (and my secret band of floozies) could think of. Please do not flame me, I know that I am blatantly making fun of all of them. It's just a light- hearted prod at the things I'm most obsessed with.  
Oh, and I don't own any of the stuff that I'm making fun of. Although, if I did make Trigun I would probably find this funny.  
  
-*-*-*-*  
  
"The line's been tapped, Miller," an almost frightened female voice whispered, "I need to get out of here."  
"What?" Miller responded, sending a quizzical expression in the direction of her partner, who had, up till a moment ago, been peacefully eating her nondescript breakfast cereal.  
"What?" Deryl responded, staring at Miller. She seemed angry at being disturbed.  
"Uh.oh, nothing." Miller went back to her pile of eggs, suddenly feeling disturbed.  
  
-*-*-*-* ::Crazy Obsessed Anime Fan:: "NO! You're wrong! This is all wrong! That's the Matrix, not Trigun!"  
  
::Narrator:: "What? Oh, yeah. Bother me not with your silly details." ::Crazy Obsessed Anime Fan:: "NO! This is sacrilege! This is an insult to Trigun!"  
  
::Narrator:: "Yeah? Well, it's my story. And honestly? Your obsessive anime nature kind of freaks me out. Would you mind not standing so close to me? You have geek-breath"  
  
::Crazy Obsessed Anime Fan:: "WHAAAAT?! How dare you! I'll have you know that I am a RENOUNED anime otaku! I am outraged by your blatant disregard for the sacred shrine of the-"  
  
::Narrator:: "You know, your lips keep moving, but all I hear is  
'blah blah blah'.  
  
-*-*-*-*  
  
"Hey Deryl? Am I the only one hearing that?"  
"Hearing what? Those voices coming out of the ceiling?"  
Simultaneously, both Miller and Deryl stare up towards the ceiling, where a heated debate seems to be raging on.  
  
-*-*-*-*  
  
::Narrator:: "See what you've done?! You've interrupted the flow of everything! They're supposed to be listening for the phone! Charlie may call. He needs his ange-"  
  
::Crazy Obsessed Anime Fan:: "Charlie?! Charlie?! That's Charlie's Angels, you moron! Can't you do anything right? You're a bad writer! I should report you to the board of obsessed anime fans. We have action figures, you know. And they're hard plastic. Hard plastic, and pointy. So don't mess with us, because we'll-"  
  
::Narrator:: "Ah, but would you take them out of the ORIGINAL PACKAGING? It would seriously decline their original value you know."  
  
::Crazy Obsessed Anime Fan:: The obsessed anime fan pales. Their mouth snaps firmly shut.  
  
::Narrator:: "That's better. Now, on with the story!"  
  
-*-*-*-*  
  
"Did you hear the rumors?!"  
"What rumors?"  
"The legendary outlaw that we've been hearing about. The one that levels entire cities when he gets bored? Can kill a man with a single bullet, from 100 yards away?! He's coming this way! He's coming to our town! Supposedly, sometime this week!"  
"No! No, it can't be! Not our peaceful little town!"  
"Yup, it's true. Rash the Stampede is going to ruin the peace we've held sacred for so long."  
  
..::Out in the Middle of the Desert::..  
  
Standing out in stark contrast to the bleak colors of the desert, a man clad in red made his way slowly to the small town outside December. His pace was steady, sure. The pale yellow of his glasses concealed whatever emotion his eyes may have mirrored. His mouth was set in a seemingly permanent scowl. His left hand twitched occasionally, as if longing for the cold steal of a revolver. His presence exuded danger, confidence. One could tell just by looking at him that this was not a man to mess with.  
Suddenly, he paused. His coat blew gently in the desert wind. His mouth pulled down into an even more severe scowl. His hand raised, up past his neck, to his head. And suddenly.  
Scratch. Scratch scratch scratch.  
Rash grunted, frustrated. The damned itching never went away! But he kept trying, his fingers moving rapidly over the red patch of skin on his forehead.  
"My head itches!" He whined, his voice completely betraying his countenance. Once his itch was satisfied, he released a satisfied sigh, and once again resumed his trek towards the town.  
  
..::Back in Town::..  
  
"Hey Deryl, those voices stopped"  
"So they did. Now where were we Miller? Oh yes, we were talking about the-"  
BOOM.  
Suddenly, from out of nowhere, came a loud explosion. Mery--oh, I mean Deryl, and Miller, rushed out into the street, to see what was going on.  
  
-*-*-*-*  
  
::Crazy Obsessed Anime Fan:: "You can't even get the names right! What kind of a fanfic writer are you, anyway?"  
  
::Narrator:: "Hey, I thought I killed you"  
  
::Crazy Obsessed Anime Fan:: "You will never kill the true spirit of anime! Even if I die, it will live on through my predecessors!"  
  
::Narrator:: "Yeah, whatever. This chapter is over anyway."  
  
-*-*-*-*  
  
Well, tell me what you think =) chapter 2 coming soon. 


End file.
